Likely the second best Jewish basketball player ever, behind Amar’e Stoudamire.
YEARS PLAYED: 1946-56
TEAMS: Chicago Stags, Knicks, Baltimore Bullets, Milwaukee Hawks, Fort Wayne Pistons
POSITION: G/F, 6’2”, 170lbs
STATS: 13.2PTS, 2.8REB, 2.3AST in 28.3MIN
BEST CHANUKAH GIFT: Being allowed to play forward at 6’2”.
Brave seven-foot pioneers ought to muster up more than two boards per game.
YEARS PLAYED: 2000-05
TEAMS: Mavericks, Clippers, Heat
POSITION: C, 7’0”, 255lbs
STATS: 4.4PTS, 1.7REB, 0.3AST in 9.2MIN
APPROXIMATE # OF BATTLES FOUGHT FOR THE PEOPLE’S LIBERATION ARMY: 0
ESPN’s Chris Berman loves giving players corny nicknames, like Dana Allison “Wonderland,” Bill Almon “Joy” or Jeff “Pin the Tail on the” Bronkey, to name a few. Check out the rest of the long, hilarious list here.
19. TOM GUGLIOTTA
NOBODY says that Googs is no fun, not even Cherokee Parks!
YEARS PLAYED: 1992-2005
TEAMS: Bullets, Warriors, Timberwolves, Suns, Jazz, Celtics, Hawks
POSITION: F, 6’10”, 240lbs
STATS: 13PTS, 7.3REB, 2.8AST in 30.9MIN
ROCKSTAR?: Pretty much, almost died OD’ing on gamma butyrolactone.
Also, funny name honorable mention for Cherokee Parks. Maybe if he was Native American.
Full name: Ekpedeme Friday Udoh. It’s the freakin’ weekend baby, and I’m about to have me some fun (bounce bounce bounce bounce…)
YEARS PLAYED: 2010-2011
TEAMS: Warriors
POSITION: F, 6’10”, 240lbs
STATS: 3PTS, 2.5REB, 0.7AST in 14.6MIN
VIDEO GAME COVER APPEARANCES: 0 (yes, this one’s a fake, sorry.)
Makes for a great beat when translated into German on Google.
YEARS PLAYED: 2001-04
TEAMS: Trailblazers
POSITION: C, 7’0”, 257lbs
STATS: 1.0PTS, 0.8REB, 0.1AST in 6.3MIN
TIMES DUNKED ON IN THE GERMAN BASKETBALL LEAGUE: enough for a top 10 video.
His apparently blind grandmother thought that he looks like Winnie the Pooh.
YEARS PLAYED: 1989-99
TEAMS: Timberwolves, Pacers, Clippers
POSITION: G, 6’1”, 180lbs
STATS: 11.1PTS, 2.8REB, 6.5AST in 30.4MIN
TIMES SOMEBODY OTHER THAN HIS GRANDMOTHER MISTOOK HIM FOR A YELLOW BEAR STUFFED WITH FLUFF: 0
YEARS PLAYED: 2010-Present
TEAMS: Timberwolves
POSITION: F, 6’6”, 245lbs
STATS: 3.6PTS, 1.7REB, 0.7AST in 10.3MIN
14. SERGE IBAKA
His full name: Sergeballu LaMu Sayonga Loom Walahas Jonas Hugo Ibaka.
YEARS PLAYED: 2009-Present
TEAMS: Oklahoma City Thunder
POSITION: F, 6’10”, 220lbs
STATS: 9.2PTS, 7.3REB, 0.3AST in 25.9MIN (this season, as of March 4)
FAVORITE FISH: humuhumunukunukuāpuaʻa (I assume)
Alwayz uzed Z’z in place of S’z whenever it waz pozzible. Yizz.
YEARS PLAYED: 1952-55
TEAMS: Indianapolis Olympians, Philadelphia Warriors
POSITION: F/C, 6’7”, 215lbs
STATS: 6.8PTS, 4.1REB, 1.2AST in 19.7MIN
TIMES ZAWOLUK’S MOTHER BEAT A PLAYER’S HEAD WITH AN UMBRELLA: at least once
I do much more basketball writing at my main site, NBAmmkay, so go take a gander over there.
No professional athlete should have these names.
If there is somebody you feel belongs on this site, feel free to submit his name.
Check out my tumblr blog at derricketc.tumblr.com
