21. Max Zaslofsky

MAX ZASLOFSKY

imageLikely the second best Jewish basketball player ever, behind Amar’e Stoudamire.

YEARS PLAYED: 1946-56

TEAMS: Chicago Stags, Knicks, Baltimore Bullets, Milwaukee Hawks, Fort Wayne Pistons

POSITION: G/F, 6’2”, 170lbs

STATS: 13.2PTS, 2.8REB, 2.3AST in 28.3MIN

BEST CHANUKAH GIFT: Being allowed to play forward at 6’2”.

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20. Wang Zhizhi

WANG ZHIZHI

imageBrave seven-foot pioneers ought to muster up more than two boards per game.

YEARS PLAYED: 2000-05

TEAMS: Mavericks, Clippers, Heat

POSITION: C, 7’0”, 255lbs

STATS: 4.4PTS, 1.7REB, 0.3AST in 9.2MIN

APPROXIMATE # OF BATTLES FOUGHT FOR THE PEOPLE’S LIBERATION ARMY: 0

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Chris Berman Nicknames

ESPN’s Chris Berman loves giving players corny nicknames, like Dana Allison “Wonderland,” Bill Almon “Joy” or Jeff “Pin the Tail on the” Bronkey, to name a few.  Check out the rest of the long, hilarious list here.

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19. TOM GUGLIOTTA

NOBODY says that Googs is no fun, not even Cherokee Parks!

YEARS PLAYED: 1992-2005

TEAMS: Bullets, Warriors, Timberwolves, Suns, Jazz, Celtics, Hawks

POSITION: F, 6’10”, 240lbs

STATS: 13PTS, 7.3REB, 2.8AST in 30.9MIN

ROCKSTAR?: Pretty much, almost died OD’ing on gamma butyrolactone.

Also, funny name honorable mention for Cherokee Parks.  Maybe if he was Native American.

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18. Ekpe Udoh

EKPE UDOH

imageFull name: Ekpedeme Friday Udoh.  It’s the freakin’ weekend baby, and I’m about to have me some fun (bounce bounce bounce bounce…)

YEARS PLAYED: 2010-2011

TEAMS: Warriors

POSITION: F, 6’10”, 240lbs

STATS: 3PTS, 2.5REB, 0.7AST in 14.6MIN

VIDEO GAME COVER APPEARANCES: 0 (yes, this one’s a fake, sorry.)

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17. RUBEN BOUMTJE-BOUMTJE

Makes for a great beat when translated into German on Google.

YEARS PLAYED: 2001-04

TEAMS: Trailblazers

POSITION: C, 7’0”, 257lbs

STATS: 1.0PTS, 0.8REB, 0.1AST in 6.3MIN

TIMES DUNKED ON IN THE GERMAN BASKETBALL LEAGUE: enough for a top 10 video.

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16. Pooh Richardson

POOH RICHARDSON

imageHis apparently blind grandmother thought that he looks like Winnie the Pooh.

YEARS PLAYED: 1989-99

TEAMS: Timberwolves, Pacers, Clippers

POSITION: G, 6’1”, 180lbs

STATS: 11.1PTS, 2.8REB, 6.5AST in 30.4MIN

TIMES SOMEBODY OTHER THAN HIS GRANDMOTHER MISTOOK HIM FOR A YELLOW BEAR STUFFED WITH FLUFF: 0

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15. Lazar Hayward

LAZAR HAYWARD

imageIMMA FIRIN MA LAZAR!

YEARS PLAYED: 2010-Present

TEAMS: Timberwolves

POSITION: F, 6’6”, 245lbs

STATS: 3.6PTS, 1.7REB, 0.7AST in 10.3MIN

HOW COOL I ASSUME HIS PARENTS ARE

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14. SERGE IBAKA

His full name: Sergeballu LaMu Sayonga Loom Walahas Jonas Hugo Ibaka.

YEARS PLAYED: 2009-Present

TEAMS: Oklahoma City Thunder

POSITION: F, 6’10”, 220lbs

STATS: 9.2PTS, 7.3REB, 0.3AST in 25.9MIN (this season, as of March 4)

FAVORITE FISH: humu­humu­nuku­nuku­āpuaʻa (I assume)

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13. Zeke Zawoluk

ZEKE ZAWOLUK

imageAlwayz uzed Z’z in place of S’z whenever it waz pozzible. Yizz.

YEARS PLAYED: 1952-55

TEAMS: Indianapolis Olympians, Philadelphia Warriors

POSITION: F/C, 6’7”, 215lbs

STATS: 6.8PTS, 4.1REB, 1.2AST in 19.7MIN

TIMES ZAWOLUK’S MOTHER BEAT A PLAYER’S HEAD WITH AN UMBRELLA: at least once

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